Monday, August 22, 2011

I Would Do Anything For Love But I Won't Do That-or maybe I will?

     I have always said that I would do anything for my children.  Would I die for them? Yep!  Would I forgo sleep and food for them? Do it all the time.  Would I practically give up grooming because there is no time and bite my tongue instead of saying go away, at least until I finish peeing? Sure thing.  Will I clean for them? UGH, yes, but I'll snark about it on Facebook.  So what is the one thing I never, no way, not ever thought that I would do on behalf of my kids?  SALES!!!
    I am so not a salesperson!  I hated retail sales and market research in college--they may have kept me IN college.  Yes, I loved teaching, loved it enough to get 3 degrees/certifications, but somewhere in the back of my mind it was also insurance against ever having to sell anything.  In fact, I actually quit blogging the first time because I felt like I was selling ideas, "Here friends and strangers, I have something that I deem so important to say that I think you should read it!"  I'm sure this says a lot about me as a person, but whatever, it's true.  And herein lies the irony, (and I mean irony in a purely Alannis Morrisett kind of way and not it's actual definition,) I find myself right now begging all of my friends for money, an obscene amount of money, in order to get my kids a service dog.
    Here's the deal, I have found an agency that trains service dogs not only for kids with multiple disabilities but also to help multiple children with disabilities in the same family.  I've met families with their dogs, they are awesome, (and I mean that in high schooly, emphatic way that I am way too old to mean it.) The agency is non-profit and technically doesn't charge for the dogs but each family is asked to fund raise $13,000 for the organization, which spends $22,000 per dog, to keep them in operation.  I get it, they can't get blood from a stone and I absolutely believe that the dog will be amazing for my family but now I am stuck fundraising which entails--asking for stuff and selling stuff:(
   I've racked my brain with ways to make asking for donations less like selling and more like helping people..."Need a great tax deduction?"  "Want some really great purses, and if you don't mind, some of the proceeds will discreetly be sent to 4 Paws for Ability on behalf of my kids."  My personal favorite, some of my wonderful friends and family are out pandering on my behalf.  I love them!!!  I put on my sunglasses and a hat to make my website and invite roughly everyone I know to my Thirty One Gifts fundraiser.  You'd think that I'd be getting more comfortable with this but, not so much.
    SO lest anyone be confused and think I am writing this to beg for donations and not to vent my current "about to turn inside out with discomfort" status--I offer this out for all of you dear ones:  Should you get an e-mail, invite, FB post... with me asking for donations and you can't or don't want to do it, just hit delete.  If, heaven forbid, you see me walking toward you trembling behind shades and struggling to make eye contact and you don't want to or can't donate, do us both a favor and scream this code--"RUN FOR YOUR LIFE" I swear to you that I will not have hurt feelings or hold a grudge and, I promise, I'll run as fast as my chunky thighs will carry me, in the opposite direction.  If all of you promise to use the code, I may-still iffy-survive fundraising.
     Man, what a mama won't do for love!  My minions better keep their rooms really clean, they owe me-big time.

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