Okay, my last post was a bit of a tearjerker so, as promised, this one brings the silly. I offer some top 5 lists that apply so perfectly to my minions. Laugh with me, and at me, and please fill in your own in the comments!!!
List number one comes in this busy holiday season but, in truth, it comes at other times around here. I know some of y'all must be with me on the desire to avoid all stores, especially grocery ones. That said, here ya' go: THE TOP 5 WAYS TO KNOW MAMA'S AVOIDING THE GROCERY STORE
5.) Mom and Dad join the minions in a chicken nugget and mac and cheese feast--bleck!!!
4.) Mama is pretty sure there is a pasta dish to be made from frozen onions and peppers, raisins, and baby marshmallows.
3.) I consider, just for a second, checking what The Midnight Muncher Minion has hoarded under the bed before making lunch.
2.) A minion asks, "Hey mom, what are you putting in the macaroni and cheese for dinner tonight?"
1.) I spend at least five minutes trying to convince myself that giving the kids popcorn and a glass of milk for breakfast is really the same as giving them wholegrain cereal.
(Before anyone gets too concerned, this is sarcasm folks. I'm still kinda' married to the popcorn and milk=cereal thing though.)
The second list is an oldie but goody:
TOP 5 WAYS TO KNOW YOU'RE A MOM OF KIDS WITH SPECIAL NEEDS
5.) You can identify the child who's had a potty accident by smell--Too graphic you say? Buck up, this job isn't for the faint of heart, y'all.
4.) You've ever had someone tell you what a sweet conversation they had with your child about her pet cat only to have to tell him/her that you have no cat. (Bonus points if it was a doctor!!!)
3.) When you go to a check up and bring a written list of your child's medications, it's on a huge scroll that looks likes Santa's "nice" list.
2.) You realize that about half of the conversations you have in a day would have had the same outcome if you'd had them with Dory the Fish from Finding Nemo.
1.) I've said it before, I'll say it again: You have to fight off the urge to laugh hysterically when someone asks you if you want regular coffee or decaf.
So far, I hope you've been laughing with me--now ready to laugh at me?
TOP 5 MOST INSULTING THINGS MY MINIONS HAVE SAID TO ME THIS MONTH
5.) My 3 year old (Evil Genius Minion) learned to tell me to "shut up" this month, he has not yet said "I love you"--Thank you, thank you older siblings:(
4.) Pink Princess Minion has thrown her arms around me and said, "You're so fluffy!" all. month. long.
3.) Midnight Muncher Minion asked me if I ever went to a concert. Cool, I thought, he knows how much Mommy loves music--until his next question. "Did you see Beethoven play his music there?" *sigh*
2.) Drama Diva Minion asked if I was planning to skate with her and her friends at her birthday shindig on Saturday. I told her that I wasn't planning on it, feeling guilty that I was letting her down. Her response? "Good, I was afraid you'd embarrass me."---NICE!!!
1.) Today, the Midnight Muncher Minion was playing with a toy pirate. He asked me if the pirate was a boy or a girl. I told him it was a boy and he responded, "It can't be, it has a ponytail."
"Some men wear ponytails too, Muncher. Lots of pirates did. It must be a boy, he has a big handlebar mustache."
His reply, wait for it, "Well, mom, you're a girl and you wax your mustache."
And there you have it folks, the zing to beat all zings. Please feel free to count the fact that he is still breathing as one of my miracles if I am ever nominated for sainthood.